So I come from a pentecostal/charismatic background. My grandfather is a pentecostal preacher. My great grandfather was a pentecostal bishop. The church I attended in my youth was full of boisterous worship and speaking in tongues and a miracle or two. As I got older I transitioned into the Association of Vineyard churches. A milder form of church but definitely believing in the supernatural. So I’m definitely not a cessationist. To me cessationism is “strange fire”. It’s all about perspective 
But I get it. I get what all of the critique is about. Sometimes pentecostal and Charismatic people can be weird. Just plain weird. Inhabitants of Crazytown. One of the ways I’ve seen this play out is in the area of prophecy and folks who call themselves prophets or prophetesses. I believe God speaks today. I just don’t believe he approves of some of the crazy antics and shenanigans of many of the people who say they heard a “word from the Lord”. So here are 5 things I believe those who are prophetic need to stop doing:
Stop manipulating people
Just because you heard something from God doesn’t give you the right to control someone’s life. You cannot make them receive what you say. You cannot force them to obey your directives. My favorite is when a single person heard from God who their mate is and then they go up to the person and tell them. Is this the ultimate anti-rejection tool or what? It actually ends up not working anyway because you automatically sound cuckoo (unless you look really really good and then it’s halfway believable). Then there’s the “the Lord is leading us to do this” line. I mean you really are putting people in a corner. If they don’t want to do it then they are not “hearing from God” and their whole spirituality is called into question. Prophets think about this: you could be wrong. I know that Old Testament prophets could be stoned for giving out false prophecies but we are in a different age of grace. How about saying “I think this is what the Lord is saying”? And don’t even think about telling someone you hardly know that “the Lord says you are the one I’m supposed to marry.” Ultimately you are using the prophetic gift to mask your insecurity. Sad.
Stop being weird
This one is a no brainer or at least I think it is. In communication theory the job of the sender is to remove all barriers that keep the receiver from hearing the message. There is noise that interrupts the message you are trying to communicate. Guess what? Shaking and convulsing=noise. Talking in King James English=noise. I mean do you really think God talks to people in the 21st century in King James English. But wait you may say that the prophets of Old got their point across using all kinds of extreme methods. That may be true but it was after the people didn’t listen and in forms that were culturally understandable (notice I didn’t say acceptable) during that time. So do us all a favor. Check out of Hotel Weirdo and just tell us what you heard. No extra stuff. I know you want to seem spiritual but there is a difference between “seeming” spiritual and being spiritual.
Stop avoiding sound doctrine
Prophetic folks do us all a favor. Stop being off in your theology. If you “hear” something from God and it doesn’t align with the scriptures then it’s wrong. Plain and simple. It ain’t from God. You ate too much pizza last night. Your argument with your spouse threw you off. Also if you plan on knowing what’s off. Read the Bible and get some good books on theology. Listen to those who actually teach the Bible. Read the Bible and learn it’s socio-historical context. Stop using scriptures out of context and giving them your own meaning.
Stop trying to teach the Bible
So this is closely related to the previous one. Just because you heard from God doesn’t mean you automatically understand all the scriptures. Your prophetic gift doesn’t give you a license to start a church. It doesn’t give you qualifications to teach theology. All it gives you is something to share. Say what you believe God has told you and then get out of the way. Stop trying to amass followers to boost your self esteem. For you to do anything more is similar to actors who think their skill at acting makes them spiritual gurus or rappers who suddenly are experts on the ins and outs of a scientific theory. When you hear something from God it just means you heard something from God.
Stop the crazy end times prophecies
If I hear one more prophecy about how America is doomed or how a national disaster is the result of some law Congress has passed I am going to bang my head on the wall. Usually these prophecies come after the fact. Translation: they are not prophecies but right wing Christian commentary. It totally damages your credibility. Also no more predictions of Christ’s return. This puts you in the Jim Jones category anyway and I’m surprised people actually believe this stuff. Do us a favor. Read the Bible. No one knows the day or the hour that Christ will return. Stop trying to predict it. Everytime China or Russia do something doesn’t mean you have to get a “word from the Lord” Every time the United States Governments creates legislation you don’t approve of doesn’t mean you have the end times scenario down. Let’s exit Crazy Town.
So there you have it. 5 things prophetic folk need to stop doing. Now. (Drops mic and walks off stage)
